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Flights of fancy

I began to entertain an interesting (to me) line of thought about work.
I wonder what it would be like to be an end user. How would it be if I could not, and did not have to, support my use of a PC from day to day….

Imagine my first day of work….

Ah, here I am! My first day as on the sales team at MegaBloat Software!
It’s an exciting time to be in the technology business, I tell ya. It’s all cutting edge and high tech. The world is changing and I’m right there on the fore-front!

Check it out, my computer awaits. Let’s fire this bad boy up and see what she can do.

*click*

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. The light is on and it’s green but nothing is showing up on the screen. Oops! It just changed to yellow….now it’s flashing. Darn the luck, they gave me a dud.

*rummaging through orientation packet*

Well, let’s give the Helpdesk a call. It’ll be a good chance to introduce myself. We tech-types need to stick together.

*ring*

Hello? Helpdesk? Hi, I’m Bob, the new sales guy. Yea, I started today and the computer you guys provided won’t boot….Yes, it’s plugged in, I’m not an idiot. *chuckle* You’re sending someone down? Cool. Thanks.

*technician arrives and pushes the power button and the computer springs to life*

Oh! You have to turn it on down there. I thought the power switch was here on the TV thingy. I feel so stupid. I am actually quite computer literate. Sorry to waste your time….

*technician leaves*

Well, THAT was embarrassing.

Ok, now to check out this puppy and get to work. A login screen. How do I login? Nobody told me what my login ID is. I’m sure it’s just an oversight. Better call the Helpdesk.

*ring*

Hello? Helpdesk? Yea. this is Bob. I can’t seem to log into my computer. I don’t have a login ID or password. What’s that? You say it’s in my orientation packet? Oh! That! I thought that was my e-mail information….It is? I use it for both? Uh….ok! I got it! Thanks! Bye!

How strange, my XP machine at home doesn’t make me log in at all. Those IT guys will need to fix this. I’ll get with them later. I am sure they will want to make things more efficient for me so I can sell, sell, SELL!

Ok, let’s have a look at the corporate intranet. Where’s the icon for the Internet? Good lord! Can’t their IT department do anything right?

*ring*

Hello? Yea, this is Bob again. My computer doesn’t seem to have the Internet…
What do I mean by that? I mean there’s no Internet thingy on my screen to click and open the Internet.

What’s that? Yes, there’s an icon that looks like a big E. Ok, I’m double-clicking it. There it is! Cool, thanks. Bye!

Strange, my computer at home the icon is very clearly marked A-O-L. These guys are really not that technical.

Now it’s time to check out the tools I will use to do my job. I should look at Excel….hmmmmm
No Excel

*ring*

Yea, this is Bob. How am I supposed to do my job without Excel installed on my computer? Can you send someone to my desk to get this resolved? I also need to get rid of the login screen. What’s that? Hold on….yea, Start, Programs…ok, I see one for Excel. I have to get to it this way? On my home computer there’s a icon doo-dad on my desktop. Never mind, I’ll just use it like this. I gotta run, it’s lunch time. Bye.

*co-worker comes to desk and asks how the day has been so far*

For a technology company, your IT department doesn’t seem to have it’s act together. I guess I’ll have to show them a few things. Where you wanna eat?

Yea, that would be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Keith Obermann is my hero!

Obermann’s special comments regarding the Clinton interview on Fox

Hey there brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmic debris?

My good friend Joe Linbeck just scored us some killer tickets for this:

DEC 17 Verizon Wireless Theater (Houston, TX) Doors at 6:30PM [All Ages]

I’ve seen Frank Zappa in concert twice. Once in Houston during the Sheik Yerbouti tour and once in San Diego when he was finishing his You Are What You Is tour. Both were amazing in the extreme.

Yea, this isn’t Frank, but it’s damn close.

I R professional picture taker

I’ve had some photographs hanging at Sig’s Lagoon for about a year now. Informally for sale, mostly for display, plus I think Thomas has been humoring me. Nothing ever sold.

One of my pictures got snatched up by my friend Jim Henkel as a last minute white elephant gift for the Continental Club company xmas party last year. It was a shot of Landis Armstrong and I think David Beebe has it now.

Thomas gave me a credit in the store for letting it walk out but I waived it off since it was for a good cause.

One of the first good shots I took with the new Sony Alpha 100 was this one of Dave Alvin at the Continental Club a few weeks ago:

Dave Alvin
Click for larger version

I had a print made and framed it and put it up at Sig’s on a whim.

I just got an e-mail from Thomas telling me that someone came in the shop, saw the picture, commented on the quality and purchased it.

I really just do this for fun. I don’t have the expectation that I am going to make my living off of photography or anything. Sure, I have had some of my pictures used on band web sites in exchange for credit back to my site. All in all, it’s just a fun hobby.

But still…

I sold a picture!

Hand me downs

With the acquisition of the new camera there has been the question of what will become of my old camera. Cynthia has decided she would like to add digital photography to her already impressive skill-set.

Cynthia with the Sony F-828
click for larger image

I am teaching her to use it in the hopes that it will inspire her to work on her own blog.
We’ll see how it goes.

Dog on a motorcycle

People often ask me why I always carry a camera with me all the time.

This is why:

Dog on a motorcycle
Click to enlarge

I was sitting at the bar of The Big Top Lounge on Main St. having a drink with some friends. We were just killing some time before the Astros game last night.

I just happened to look out the window and saw this guy waiting at the light at Alabama. I was able to run out the door, camera in hand and snap two quick shots before the light changed and the dynamic duo sped off, presumably to fight crime.

Technically, not a great picture, but in terms of subject matter you just can’t plan for something like this.

Now I know my ABC’s

In my line of work, the need for a phonetic alphabet comes up rather frequently. You know, when you’re trying to tell someone how to spell something.

You hear it used in emergency radio and ham radio communications all the time.

Standardized Phonetic Alphabet

A

ALFA

M

MIKE

Y

YANKEE

B

BRAVO

N

NOVEMBER

Z

ZULU

C

CHARLIE

O

OSCAR

1

ONE

D

DELTA

P

PAPA (PA-PA’)

2

TWO

E

ECHO

Q

QUEBEC (KAY-BEK’)

3

THREE (TREE)

F

FOXTROT

R

ROMEO

4

FOUR

G

GOLF

S

SIERRA

5

FIVE (FIFE)

H

HOTEL

T

TANGO

6

SIX

I

INDIA

U

UNIFORM

7

SEVEN

J

JULIETT

V

VICTOR

8

EIGHT

K

KILO

W

WHISKEY

9

NINE (NINER)

L

LIMA

X

X-RAY

0

ZERO

During the show last week, as I was trying to impart a web address to a caller, I was struggling with one of the letters. I always get confused with N and Q for some reason.

After the caller disconnected I mentioned on air that there should be a geek version of the phonetic alphabet. Makes total sense to me. G as in Google and so forth.

We tossed around a few ideas on the air and then my co-host Barrett threw it out to our guests in IRC and hammered out version 1.01

Geek Phonetic Alphabet

A

APPLE

M

MICROSOFT

Y

YAHOO

B

BOOTDISK

N

NEWBIE

Z

ZAXXON

C

CAFFEINE

O

OBSOLETE

1

ONE

D

DONGLE

P

PRINTER

2

TWO

E

ERROR

Q

QUICKTIME

3

THREE (TREE)

F

FREEWARE

R

REBOOT

4

FOUR

G

GOOGLE

S

SERIAL

5

FIVE (FIFE)

H

H4×0R

T

TOOLBAR

6

SIX

I

INDIA

U

UNIX

7

SEVEN

J

JOYSTICK

V

VIRUS

8

EIGHT

K

KILOBYTE

W

WEBCAM

9

NINE (NINER)

L

LINUX

X

XMODEM

0

ZERO

This is still in development. We changed Y from YMODEM to YAHOO on the air last night, per a brilliant suggestion from Dwight Silverman, so I guess this is technically Version 1.01 rev A

Barrett goes into a bit more detail on his Geekspeak Bog over at the Chronicle website.

White and Nerdy - Weird Al

New theme song for Technology Bytes?

Perhaps….

Parody of “Ridin’ Dirty” by Chamillionaire

White and Nerdy

mmmmmmmm, donut

Lens: Sony 1.4 50mm
Click the image for XIF data.

Butterfly

Cynthia called to me from the other room. She said the largest Swallowtail butterfly was in our back yard and I should try to get a picture. I was rather dismissive as my camera was not ready and I thought by the time I re-inserted the memory card and got the battery out of the charger it would be gone, or that when I did get outside it would fly away. Cynthia was insistent so I thought I would give it a try.

Not only did it not fly away, it seemed to pose for the camera.


Lens: Tamron AF 28-75mm f2.8 XR Di.
Focal length: 75mm
ISO: 800
Sutter speed: 1/250