Ruh roh, George!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily
briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3
Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion,
nervously watching as the President sits, head in
hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many
is a brazillion?”

2005 Houston Press Best of Houston Awards

2005: Goods & Services

Best Tech Geek
Jay Lee

Jay Lee, Houston Chronicle Help Line columnist and co-host of KPFT/90.1 FM’s Technology Bytes, makes understanding the oft-frustrating wired world of computers possible for even the most basic of users. Lee’s strength is in his simple instructions and advice. But if you want to get hard-core, he can also out-geek any challenger on the methods of machinery. Lee first became interested in computers in high school in 1978 with a Tandy TRS-80 (that sleek design, the sensuous hot buttons…oh, wait, we’re talking about a machine here…), but he didn’t own his first system until the late ’80s. “It didn’t work when I took it out of the box, but I was able to sort it out myself. That’s when I knew I had a knack for computer troubleshooting,” he says. Lee notes that spyware is now the “single most common cause of computer performance problems today” and preaches with the zeal of Jimmy Swaggart in a whorehouse about the urgency to back up, back up and back up your computer’s data and files.

Storm Warning

000
WTFZ25 WNSSC290700
SHITSTORM TOMMY FORECAST/ADVISORY 2A
NATIONAL POLITICAL WEATHER CENTER WASHINGTON DC
TPS FORM 20001
0700Z THU SEP 29 2005

TOPICAL STORM TOMMY CENTER LOCATED AT AUSTIN TEXAS 30.3N 97.8W AT 29/0300Z
HAS JUST BEEN UPGRADED TO A CATEGORY 1 SHITSTORM
FOLLOWING FORMAL INDICTMENT OF REP. TOM DELAY…

A POLITICAL FALLOUT WARNING HAS BEEN DECLARED FOR AN AREA
WITHIN 50 REPRESENTATIVES TO EITHER SIDE OF TOMMY WHICH COULD
MAKE LANDFALL IN HUNTSVILLE TX IN THE NEXT 24 TO 48 WEEKS. SHITSTORM TOMMY
HAS A WELL-DEFINED BROWN EYE MAKING FURTHER STRENGTHENING VERY LIKELY.

A CATEGORY 1 SHITSTORM IS A MINIMAL SHITSTORM BUT IS CONSIDERED
DANGEROUS TO RESIDENTS OF LOW-LYING AREAS SUCH AS CAPITOL HILL
AND THE WHITE HOUSE…REPUBLICAN INTERESTS ARE ADVISED TO SEEK
SHELTER ON THE MORAL HIGH GROUND IF THEY CAN FIND ANY.

AS WITH MOST SHITSTORMS IN THE 2001-2005 CYCLE, TOMMY MAY BE SHORT-LIVED
DUE TO THE ABSENCE OF SUSTAINED DEMOCRATIC PRESSURE…ALREADY CATEGORY 3
SHITSTORM KATRINA AND CATEGORY 2 SHITSTORM RITA REORGANIZED FROM REMNANTS
OF HURRICANES WITH THE SAME NAMES…MAY BE DOWNGRADED.

REPUBLICANS IN THE AFFECTED AREAS SHOULD TAKE PRECAUTIONS…RIGHT-WING
MEDIA SPIN TO PREVENT THE STRENGTHENING OF TOPICAL STORMS CINDY, KARL
AND THE MINIMAL TOPICAL STORM GAY.

$$

Jay and the lemur

I finally made it to Adventures In Birds to replenish the dwindling supply of bird treats at the house.

I took some time to visit the show room and I was pounced upon by a free-roaming lemur!

They’re very cute but I think owning a pet with opposable thumbs would present it’s own unique set of problems we are not prepared to deal with.