Crazy Apple Rumors

With all the talk about iPods lately I thought I would share this from www.crazyapplerumors.com

Apple Special Event To Reveal New Music Features.

At an event scheduled for July 7th, sources indicate, Apple will announce iTunes 4.9, an entirely new lineup of iPods and the ability to play AAC-encoded music on ham sandwiches.

Apple will improve upon iTunes by adding podcasting, will upgrade the storage capacities of all iPods and, most excitingly, will do the seemingly impossible: allow music to be played on pork-based meat between two pieces of bread.

“Pork fat is highly magnetic,” an Apple engineer on the project said. “Thus it retains digital files in their purest form.”

According to our source, the AAC on ham effort is the result of a meats-as-storage-medium skunk works project in the mid-1990s during Apple’s heyday of research into pretty much anything anyone could think of no matter how high they were.

Several sources in the know indicate the guy who thought up this was extremely high.

“Black Forest ham works best,” the engineer said, “but any ham will do. Even your generic Safeway or Giant-brand hams. Ham in a white box that says ‘HAM’ on it in black letters will even work. But it has to be ham. We tried turkey, roast beef, salami… baloney… Braunschweiger…

“By the way, don’t try Braunschweiger. Ever. For any reason. Even if it points to magnetic north and you need to find your way out of a canyon filled with rabid coyotes. Better to turn and charge headfirst into the coyotes than to taste Braunschweiger.”

Reportedly, mustard, cheeses and the type of bread have no impact on the audio quality, but bread must be present for loss-less playback. With no visual interface, the functionality is similar to the iPod shuffle, but with a rainbow shine after several days of play.

Asked how Apple intends to make any money off of this discovery, the source said that the company will port the operating system powering the iPod shuffle to the ham sandwich and provide a whole series of ham sandwich peripherals, perhaps even ham sandwich socks.

Users will be free to make their own ham sandwiches, but Apple is confident that the tight integration the company will be able to make between the ham sandwich and the Macintosh will even lead to a ham halo effect, increasing the Mac’s market share.

Apple declined to comment for this story, but area residents report that representative from Carl Buddig have been seen coming and going at One Infinite Loop.

Technolgy Bytes is now podcasting

If you have an iPod and want to subscribe to the podcast for my show Technology Bytes you can do so using this RSS feed.

In related news, Technology Bytes is celebrating 10 years on the air in Houston, TX on the Mighty 90, KPFT. We will be partying down with our bad selves at Kaveh Kanes in downtown Cowtown on Friday, July 8th. Party kicks off at 8:00. Admission is FREE!

Drop Trio will be providing the music and everyone is invited so come on down and party like a dorkus-malorkus.

Kaveh Kanes is located at 912 Prairie and offers a fine selection of beer, coffee and desert.
They also have free Internet access (both wired and wireless).

European Oddessey – Florence

The train ride to Florence was not nearly as eventful as the one to Venice. The train was cleaner and we even had the opportunity to dine in the dining car. As good as Italian food is, it’s even better when served while traveling at speed on the European rail system.

As we made our way to Florence it rained on and off. This was not encouraging. The trip so far had benefited from good weather and we held out hope that it would last for the duration of the trip. No such luck. When we arrived in Florence the skies were overcast and it was drizzling.

After the beauty and charm of Venice, this brooding medieval city shrouded in stormy darkness seemed most unpleasant. When we arrived at our hotel there were some less than reputable looking people huddled beneath the canopy of the front porch area. My heart sank a bit.

Inside the hotel it was much better. The building that is the Hotel Loggiato dei Serviti was built between 1517 and 1527 by the religious order of the Servi di Maria. It really is a cool space.

We checked in and got settled. As per our routine we set out on foot to find sustenance and get our bearings. The hotel had free loaner umbrellas to which we availed ourselves. We trudged down a dark, narrow street toward the cathedral Santa Maria del Fiore (aka The Duomo).

As you can see, even on a sunny day this street is somewhat foreboding.

As we made our way the skies opened up with torrential downpour. We sought shelter in the doorway of a shop and waited, using our umbrellas to ward off the splash of cars speeding through standing rain water.

It did not look like it was going to let up so we made a dash for a nearby restaurant to ride it out. We ordered some food and something to drink and talked about the current situation. Keep in mind we are about 2/3 of the way into our trip (thirteen days), having traveled from Amsterdam to Bruges to Paris to Venice and now here. We are tired and we have seen and done so much. I guess we were just breaking down a little and letting it get to us.

Not only was I not enjoying being in Florence but I was having anxiety about Rome. Cynthia was also a bit dismayed but stepped to the plate in a big way and spoke positively about what we had accomplished and gave me many, many words of encouragement. We both agreed that it was silly to lament such things and Cynthia quoted from one of the Rick Steves’ books where he said (and I am paraphrasing here) “you must arm yourself with militant optimism” and “if you were not having fun you weren’t trying hard enough“.

We finished our meals and crossed the street to have a look at the Duomo. The rain had let up and was coming and going but not bad. We walked a bit and then decided to go back to the hotel and retire early after having the clerk make our reservations at Galleria dell’Academia to see Michelangelo’s David.


When we awoke the next morning we had breakfast at the hotel which was provided as part of our accommodations. They even served regular coffee and left the pot. It was heavenly. The extra rest and the breakfast really lifted our spirits. To top it all off the sun was even shining.
We were both in a much better mood and our enthusiasm was returning. We set off on foot to see the Duomo in the sunlight and take in some of the other sites before our appointment with David. We trekked down to the Arno river and saw The Ponte Vecchio. We saw the bust of Benvenuto Cellini in it’s prominent location in the middle of the bridge.

The railing around this bust was covered in padlocks with writing on them. Hundreds and hundreds of padlocks that city workers were having to cut away with bolt cutters. I found out later that this was something lovers did to symbolize their eternal devotion. They would lock the padlock and throw the key in the Arno river.

We made our way back to Galleria dell’Academia in time for our appointment to see David. The statue is much larger than I thought it was going to be. Standing a full 17′, it was originally designed to go atop the Duomo and be viewed from below. It is truly something I am glad I had the opportunity to see in person.


We polished off the day with a side trip to Città di Fiesole, a small town outside of Florence perched on the side of the mountain overlooking the city. Even when we got off of the bus a few stops too early we were undaunted and enjoyed some small talk as we waited for the next bus. Fiesole is a charming town and it solidified our notion that Italy is a wonderful place when you get off the beaten track and really dig in.
We caught the bus back to Florence and walked some more, taking in a few more sites.

For our last day in Florence we decided once more to leave the confines of the city and explore. This time it was an hour-long train ride to Pisa to see the La Torre Pendente. We figured we might as well, when would we have the chance again?

Pisa is a “one trick pony” kind of place. You go to see the leaning tower, you look at the cheesy souvenirs and you leave. It took us all of an hour before we were ready to go back to Florence.

That’s pretty much it. The complex featuring the tower and the cathedral. More pics at the Pisa Gallery on my site.

When we returned we took a chance and went to see how bad the afternoon line was at the Ufizzi Gallery. When we had thought about going to this museum prior the lines were VERY long. Now they looked manageable and we didn’t have to wait long before we were inside. The Ufizzi is one of the most famous museums of paintings and sculpture in the world. Its collection of Primitive and Renaissance paintings comprises several universally acclaimed masterpieces of all time, including works by Giotto, Simone Martini, Piero della Francesca, Fra Angelico, Filippo Lippi, Botticelli, Mantegna, Correggio, Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael, Michelangelo and Caravaggio. German, Dutch and Flemish masters are also well represented with important works by Dürer, Rembrandt and Rubens. What a send off to this city! We marveled the whole time we were in there.

I should also mention that while we were in Italy they in the middle of some type of cultural awareness program. What this meant to us was free museums the whole time we were there. This saved us quite a few euros.

Our successes in Florence mounted and we were embiggened mightily for our final rendezvous with Rome. The clincher for me in Florence was one last walk where we encountered a small shop called The Jokol’ Arte Juggling Store. Yes, a store that sells only juggling supplies. You need juggling balls? They have juggling balls. I giggled with delight just seeing it and was beside myself with joy walking inside and talking with the proprietor.

Ahhh, the absurdity.

Next Stop – Rome

Everything’s coming up Milhouse

I received not one, but TWO e-mail messages from The Houston Press this weekend.

The first one was to let me know that my band, The Flying Fish Sailors, has been nominated for the 2005 Houston Press Music Awards and also invited to play at the showcase. The last time this happened was in 2002 when we were nominated (and won) in the Celtic Music category. It’s nice to get some recognition. We’ve only been together as a band for about 17 years.

The second e-mail was to let me know that I have been nominated for the upcoming Best of Houston issue. Every year they publish an issue that contains what they believe to be the best that Houston has to offer. The categories range from best bar, restaurant, etc to best place to have your car repaired and so forth.

In years past my radio show, Technology Bytes was recognized with the title of “Best Technology Talk Radio” beating out Michael Garfield, Houston’s own (so-called) High Tech Texan. In 2002 my partner Peter Hughes was recognized as “Best Radio Sidekick”.

This year I have been nominated for the title of “Best Tech Geek” for my efforts on the show as well as my weekly Help Line column in the Houston Chronicle.

Search me!

As I was parsing my log files and I was noticing the search terms Internet users were googling that caused my blog to show up in their search results. I decided to cull them out and list them here for your pleasure.

I broke it down into 3 categories. Searches that included the term “bald”, searches that included the term “heretic” and the rest.

Here are the results.

BALD

bald+back
bald+belgium
bald+is+good
bald+pics
bald+woman+head+pic
home+taken+pics+of+bald+kids
pictures+of+bald+people
she+bald+beautiful
william+bald

HERETIC

famous+heretic
Heretic+of+Venice
irish+heretic
medieval+heretic
peter+the+heretic

MISC

40+gig+ipod+soft+reset
broken+nose+did+not+bleed
capt.+spastic
cecily+livejournal
da+vinci+the+heretic
donna+hailing+a+cab
dumon+chocolate
easy+tag+Westpark
History+of+Champs+Elysse
Los+Skarnales
monotonous+langour
pictures+of+night+trains+in+europe
pisa+leaning+tower
rome+train+to+paris
sean+condon
sean+condon+amsterdam
sean+reefer+andrea
skarnales
timothy+dehaas
train+trip+in+europe
uss+fanning

Restaurant review

Cynthia and I were invited to dinner with our friends Joe and Misty.
Joe suggested a place called Buca di Beppo.

We love Italian food and are even more excited about finding good Italian food since our trip. In all honesty I did not have very high expectations but figured we would go eat and chat and it would be a nice evening.

As it turns out, Buca di Beppo is just plain awesome! The restaurant is part of a chain but don’t let that deter you. The decor is rather campy with lots of pictures on the walls, no windows and kind of a “TGIF” atmosphere with boisterous wait staff and a festive mood. In checking the web site they have locations all over the county.

The menu is on a placemat in front of you and also posted on the wall. We were informed that the portions were quite large and the idea was to order 1-2 entrees and share them. The food is very Sicilian and, as such, is rather heavy and quite hardy.

We had Caprese (which we discovered in Italy) for an appetizer and it was just as good as anything we had on our trip. We ordered Chicken Cacciatore along with a plate of the best green beans I have ever tasted. It was enough to feed the four of us. We added a bottle of wine and it was a fabulous meal. There was even enough leftover to take home to feed four people again.

We decided to order 2 deserts and the four of us could not even finish one.

Huge portions, great food and wonderful staff. If you have a party of 4 or more I can wholeheartedly recommend this place. You will not be disappointed.

TYPOGLYCEMIA

Don’t delete this because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!